


Thought It Was Me

by onamiswaaan



Series: Me [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I suck at adding tags, Light Angst, M/M, Slight Pre-Timeskip, Timeskip, will probably add more tags as the story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26911126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onamiswaaan/pseuds/onamiswaaan
Summary: He had a hunch, but he still wanted to continue, thinking he was just being paranoid. Not until he accidentally (or maybe not) heard Semi's confession to Tendō."I knew it. I felt it. But you always tell me you like me. I had no other choice but to trust what you always say. I know it! I know you don't really like me. I know all of it. But you know, Semi-san, there is a part of me who wished for it. There is a part of me who really thought it was me who you like. And that part of me is the biggest part, for I really thought it was me who you liked, loved, and want to spend a part of your future with."
Relationships: Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou
Series: Me [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916596
Kudos: 13





	Thought It Was Me

**Author's Note:**

> Time set during the third year volleyball club members' graduation/departure party, when Semi followed Tendō to the bathroom (from 'Can't It Be Me?).

Shirabu Kenjirō decided to confess his feelings for his upperclassman, Semi Eita. As he was feeling nervous, he decided to go out and catch some fresh air on the garden. He saw a bench in front of a big tree, but chose to sat on the other side of the tree. He leaned on it as he remember the first time Semi Eita toss for the ultimate ace.

* * *

_He applied for the Shiratorizawa Academy volleyball club and he got accepted. It is his first day in high school, and he will meet his new teammates. Shirabu is frenzied for he always wanted to meet the academy's volleyball ace, Ushijima Wakatoshi. When he arrived at the gym, only a few first year members were there, most members that are here now are the regulars (who are almost built up of second years). Well it is acceptable, they came there thirty minutes earlier._

_After a few minutes, freshmen started arriving at the gym. "Hi. You're Shirabu Kenjirō, right?" He looked at the person who talked to him, and saw that it is his classmate. "I'm Kawanishi Taichi, from the same class. Nice to meet you." The said man held his hand out for handshake, Shirabu didn't know that handshakes are still a trend, even so, he held out his hand and shaked hands with Kawanishi._

_"I didn't knew that you play volleyball, Kawanishi-kun." It's a good thing, though, that he has someone to talk to. Shirabu isn't really the type of person who is sociable._

_"You can call me Taichi. I don't look like it, right?" Taichi laughed. Most people tell him that he doesn't look like a volleyball player because he doesn't seem like it. They say basketball suit him most._

_Their talk was interrupted when the coach, together with Shirabu's reason of going to Shiratorizawa, Ushijima Wakatoshi, arrived at the gym. He can not believe it. Ushijima Wakatoshi is now his team mate, and if he's lucky, he'll be able to set for the ultimate ace._

_The regulars were introduced, and they really were second years, aside from one of their middle blockers and one of the liberos. Even their setter, Semi Eita, is a second year._

_The new first years introduced themselves and their position. After that, they were split into teams for their coach to assess. Lucky for Shirabu, someone he knows is in the same group. If their team won, they'll be facing off the regulars. This would be a good game._

_Due to them not being teammates before, other setters had a hard time syncing up with other players, but not Shirabu. He may not be as skilled as Oikawa Tōru of Aoba Johsai High, atleast he synched up with his (currently) teammates and won against other teams, and now they'll be facing off the regulars._

_Ushijima's serve, and Shirabu is watching intently, feeling his heart beat fast because of excitement. Even though the libero from their team wasn't able to receive Ushijima's serve properly, he is very happy._

_"It's a good decision that I joined this team." Shirabu thought._

_Ushijima made a mistake and that gave Shirabu's team a point, and the rally begun. Shirabu tossed to Taichi which he spiked, but the third year middle blocker touched the ball, giving the regulars a chance to score. Shirabu should be helping Taichi and the others to block, but he got stunned by how Semi Eita tossed gracefully to Ushijima. His form is beautiful, but he seems a little hesitant._

_But still, Shirabu Kenjirō loved the setter's form. He was hooked. He can't understand why his form is still beautiful even if he is hesitating. He looked straight into the setter's eyes, it probably looked like a glare to him though. He wants to surpass him. From that day on, his goal became Semi Eita._

* * *

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a familiar voice. "I have a question."

"What is it?"

The two voices he heard are the former third years from his team, Tendō and Semi. Shirabu felt nervous. He feel like he shouldn't listen to this, a shame that he left his phone and earphones inside the restaurant where they are celebrating.

He distracted himself while keeping his presence unknown. He shouldn't be eavesdropping like this. He thought of things he'll be teaching Goshiki and new first years as well, for distraction. He failed when he heard a particular line he always hear from Semi Eita, but this time, it wasn't for him.

"I like you, Tendō Satori."

Tears were formed in Shirabu's eyes, threatening to fall. He doesn't want to hear them anymore. But he can't leave, they can't know that he is in there and he heard them. They'll be guilty and Shirabu doesn't want that. He may not look like it, but his upperclassmen is important to him.

"I know, I know. You're going to hate me and ask, "What about Shirabu, then?" But I really tried. I really tried to like him. I wanted to like him, though it didn't work."

Tried.

So what he felt the past few months were true. Semi Eita really didn't like him, and as if to rub salt into the wound, he remembered the first time Semi Eita declared that he likes him.

* * *

_"Shirabu, I like you!" Shirabu stood, stunned by the sudden confession of his upperclassman, and a setter like him, Semi Eita in front of their teammates._

_He always believed that Ushijima, Tendō, and Semi were in a love triangle, considering the looks they get from each other. Was he just being judgmental, then?_

_As if he didn't heard him the first time, Semi repeated what he said. "I like you, Shirabu Kenjirō. Will you go out with me?" He even bowed his head. Shirabu was, of course, stunned and stood there, completely frozen. Who wouldn't? He just received a sudden confession in his first year high school, from an upperclassman, from the same team, and a man, to boot._

_When he realized what happened, he walked away from Semi picked a ball and started practicing his serves. The whole team was still dumbfounded and the first one who came back from the reality was Tendō._

_"Semi-kun, look! You scared Shirabu! Poor boy being confessed publicly by Semi Eita." He then turned to Shirabu and said, "Shirabu, good job on ignoring Semi." It made the whole team laugh._

* * *

Shirabu felt his heart clench from the pain. He apologized to them in his mind for letting them know of his presence. He walked his way to the door but Tendō noticed him. He bowed and went inside, noticing that Ushijima was by the door. He took his things (which were his wallet, phone, earphones, and keys), bid his good bye saying his brother has an emergency, which is a lie. There is no emergency because Shirabu Kenjirō is an only child.

It hurt. He ran away from that place. When he was far enough, he booked for a taxi which immediately arrived, asked for his address and just told the taxi driver the address to their old house. When he arrived, he climbed up to his treehouse.

His treehouse is big enough for three people to stay the night. It was actually for the stargazing event Shirabu's elementary school had, but he wasn't able to participate. His father decided to build him a treehouse. Since then, this treehouse has become Shirabu's comfort place, reason why his parents can not sell the house and lot.

He lied on his bed, hugged his teddy bear (who is always clean thanks to the caretaker of the house), and there he cried. He cried all the pain he received today. Kenjirō never experienced heartbreak before. Semi Eita is always his first.

First crush. First person he liked. First person he was willing to give his heart to. First love. First heartbreak.

Semi Eita made him experience a lot of things, good and bad. It's such a shame, though, that Semi doesn't like him. Him not being able to confess is something he was thankful, and probably the opposite, he will regret not being able to confess. He will keep his feelings with him, he doesn't know until when. Might be days, weeks, months, years, or maybe never.

He cried until he fell asleep, the moment he open his eyes, the sun was starting to set. He looked at his phone to see what time is it and saw that it is already five-thirty in the afternoon. Their dorms has curfew, the students should be inside the campus before six, except during holidays. He booked another taxi and he fixed his bed and stuffed teddy bear as he wait for it. Five minutes after, he was informed that the driver is already waiting. Good thing he was able to wash his face before the taxi arrived.

He arrived at their school at five-fifty seven, his eyes were puffed, definitely looked like he just finished crying. He ignored the looks his getting and walked fastly to his assigned dorm room, and there he saw the last person he want to see, waiting in front of his room. It was too late to go back because he, unfortunately, locked gazes with Semi Eita.

"Shirabu, let's talk."

"Semi-san, I'm sorry but I actually want to take a rest. I'll talk to you next time. Then," He bowed. "I'll be going now. Excuse me." He was about to open his door but Semi held him on his arm.

"Please."

"We have nothing to talk about, Semi-san."

"We have a lot to talk about, just hear me first!"

Hear Semi out? And what, he'll be saying lies again? What, to save himself? Or would he actually apologize? For what? For not liking Shirabu? Or to lessen the guilt the older is feeling? Shirabu doesn't know. Tears were starting to form again and he can feel his blood boil. Shirabu is mad.

"Hear you out? What are you going to tell me? That you didn't intend to hurt me? Are you going to lie again, Semi-san? Are you going to tell me some sweet nothings?" Shirabu didn't mean to, but his voice raised. "Are you going to tell me you like me, like how you always tell me? Are you going to fool me again, or are you going to fool yourself again by telling me you l-like me?"

His voice cracked and his tears finally fell down. He harshly grabbed his arm. "If you'll excuse me. I want to take a rest."

The man grabbed him again. "Let's talk, but not here."

Not here? Oh, right. They're not the only ones in the building. Shirabu not-so-gently wiped his tears and smiled. "Why, afraid of other students hearing something about you, senpai?" Shirabu said, emphasizing his last word. Semi's brows furrowed.

Semi snapped. "I just wanted to talk to you and apologize! Is it so hard to just let me talk and you listen?!"

"Talk? Apologize? For what? Ah, for giving me false hope? What is that for? For me to forgive you or for you to forgive yourself?" Semi's grip on Shirabu's arm hurt.

Semi got mad because he knows that what Shirabu is saying is true. He just wanted to apologize for himself. He knows thaf there is a possibility that Shirabu will not forgive him. But he still wanted to apologize as soon as possible. He can't take the guilt anymore.

Semi remained silence which hurt Shirabu, it is like the older is choosing the latter as an answer to the question. Shirabu didn't wanted to, but his tears fell again. "It hurts..." He whispered it, but Semi still heard it, thought his grip on Shirabu was too hard. However, that's only half true.

For a moment Shirabu and Semi were filled with silence, the only thing they can hear are Shirabu's sobs and the cicadas. Good thing that the term just ended and almost all of the students went back to their home.

Crying, Shirabu spoke and tried his best for his voice not to be shaky. "I knew it. I felt it. But you always tell me you like me. I had no other choice but to trust what you always say. I know it! I know you don't really like me. I know all of it. But you know, Semi-san, there is a part of me who wished for it. There is a part of me who really thought it was me who you like. And that part of me is the biggest part, for I really thought it was me who you liked, loved, and want to spend a part of your future with."

Semi never thought Shirabu would say this. Semi never saw Shirabu looking so weak. Semi never, in his wildest dreams, imagined that Shirabu will look like this because of him. He didn't know what to say. Semi just stood there, until the door of the room beside Shirabu's opened and Taichi went out.

"E-eh? Shirabu? Semi-san?" He noticed Shirabu is crying. "Shirabu, are you okay? Why are you crying?"

"Sorry, can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure but..." Shirabu walked his way to Taichi's room, and Taichi apologetically looked at Semi. "I'm sorry, did something happen?"

Semi shook his head. "No, it's nothing. I'll be going, then."

"Okay, Semi-san." Taichi bowed slightly to his upperclassman.

* * *

On the way to his dorm room (soon to be a new dorm room of a first year high school), Semi texted Ōhira Reon, one of his close friends, also from the volleyball club.

 **[6:13 PM] To Reon:**  
I fucked up, Bro.

He really did, and he fucked up big time. He doesn't know what to do anymore. Semi felt like he is the worst scumbag world has ever made. He should have considered Shirabu's feelings. He should have told him from the first place. There are so many thing he should have done, but he can never edit the things he did.

 **[6:14 PM] From Reon:**  
I'm at my dorm room.

He just hoped that Reon will punch him and wake him up. Semi Eita doesn't know what to do anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I know I said I'll post the first chapter yesterday, but I got hooked in a fic I was just feeling giddy and then crying and then feeling giddy again.
> 
> Also, I'm not really good with tags so I'll probably add tags as the story progresses.


End file.
